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Dating Tips
No More Desperation Dating
by Kathryn Lord
When you think about what you find attractive in
a person, what comes to mind? Tall, dark and handsome?
Blonde and curvaceous?
How about happy and fulfilled with an exciting life?
I don't know about you, but I would pick the happy,
exciting life every time. While physical chemistry
is important, I know quite a number of people who
would not win a beauty pageant, but are so filled
with life and energy that they draw the attention
of everyone when they enter a room. They may not
be the easiest on the eye, but they certainly are
the ones I want to talk to and spend time with.
***Looking Ahead***
As we get ready for the search for our future partners,
an easy aspect to overlook is our attitude towards
our own lives. Each time I have found myself single,
adjusting myself to the possible reality that I
might be that way the rest of my life has seemed
imperative. A part of that adjustment has always
included building a happy and interesting life for
myself.
How you feel about your life now as a single person
and the possibility that you might stay single,
affects what you portray to others. If you hate
your life, think that being married or partnered
is the only valued way to live, and look towards
a future as a single as depressing, sad, or bleak,
believe me, that shows. And it is very unattractive.
As well, that sort of mind set leads to desperation
and neediness, which will really cloud your judgment
when it comes to sorting through mate possibilities.
How will you be able to freely decide if someone
is right for you if you feel impelled to launch
yourself towards the first person who shows a bit
of interest?
Staying centered and clear-headed is going to be
vital to your future, and feeling miserable about
your current life and prospects will really cloud
your judgment.
***Three Action Steps***
1. Start thinking about improving your life as a
single and your attitude towards it right now. What
are you proud of, and what do you need to improve
upon, to feel better about your life and the future?
2. If you knew, right now, that you were going to
spend the rest of your life as a single, what would
you need to do so that you would have as interesting
and vital a life by yourself as you imagine life
with a partner would be?
3. While important to place priority on finding
a mate, how can you move it to the side, and make
your own life and its vitalness central?
Though sounding contradictory, happiness with your
life as it is now, and at the same time, making
yourself ready to change it by finding a mate, actually
provides needed balance. Your satisfaction with
what you have will be exciting and attractive to
others. You will not come across as needy, a real
turn off.
***Want or Need?***
Want and need are two very different things. *Want*
implies desire, but something that you could do
without. *Need* has a desperate edge. Because you
are looking, you will be signaling that you *want*
a relationship and are willing to make space and
change for that in your already full life. But you
don't *need* another to make yourself complete.
One of the best ingredients for a successful relationship
are two people who know how to satisfy their own
needs. They are happy by themselves and not *needing*
a relationship.
Wanting, yes.
Needing, no.
Kathryn Lord © 2004 All Rights Reserved
About The Author
Kathryn Lord, Romance Coach / Helping Singles Find
A Sweetheart!
eBk: "Find A Sweetheart Soon! Your Love Trip
Planner for Women"
Purchase ebook at: http://www.cafeshops.com/findasweetheart
Want more? Get my complimentary enewsletter *eMAIL
to eMATE*
Subscribe at http://find-a-sweetheart.com/newsletter.html
www.Find-A-Sweetheart.com / email: Kathryn@Find-A-Sweetheart.com
4870 Oak Ridge Road, Vicksburg, MS 39183 / Ph.601-619-0030 |
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